This is like being in an interview. The interviewer always says “Tell me about yourself,” and we are expected to respond with tidbits of information we feel as pertinent to the job we are being interviewed for in an effort to appear perfect for said job. Even if we are actually just desperate for a job and have applied to absolutely everything just hoping something sticks.
So, we use our most eloquent speech and try to step outside of the “general information box” that the interviewer could easily learn from the resume in front of them. Still, nobody ever says, “I am lazy, have no drive and am a sucker for pizza.” We polish it, we present it, we flower it.
Luckily, I am none of those things, but I still struggle with this task. “Tell me about yourself.” Really, it sounds quite simple enough. But, I find it to actually be a difficult question. Sure, I can say that I am a spunky blonde in love with England but a true California girl. I recently graduated from California Baptist University. I can say I have spent a number of years in the retail industry, love softball, the New York Yankees and Disneyland. But still, I haven’t disclosed any information telling you about myself or who I truly am on the inside, who I am in my soul. So, here is what I deem pertinent to this blog and to anyone reading it – what my soul consist of:
I am a people pleaser. I fall in love easily and can never seem to fall out of it. I want to help everyone I care about achieve the absolute greatest level of happiness possible, even at the expense of my own. I am a faulty believer in a god that I haven’t decided truly exists. I question everything and rarely have the answers for anything. But I can see the truth in people and psychoanalyze everyone who crosses my path. I am easily trusted, but not quick to trust. I lack patience and the ability to wait my turn. I tend to go after everything I want, including things I cannot (and should not) have. Challenges are simply goals I have yet to meet. Good food and high fashion will be the death of me.
I suppose that is me. I trust you have gotten a good picture of my insides spilled for everyone to see, my soul in words. But as I grow as a person and get older, I can’t help but wonder if I even know myself. Isn’t that what so many of us spend tens of years searching for? Who we are, what matters to us, and what we are doing here?
You can also find me on Medium.com by clicking here. I am currently a contributing writer for P.S. I Love You.